One of my favorite things about aging, yes I’m one of those people who like to age, is my wisdom.
This won’t be a passive aggressive approach to saying something to any certain person.
If I have something to say to someone, I’ll say it. This is just a hunk of truth.
Wisdom is one the almighty powers to good health as well.
With age, you’ll find out who in your life uses you to their own benefit, who have personality disorders, the true sincere others, the people who wear a mask, and unfortunately you’ll also discover which best dear friends were party friends as well. If you have, ever, or do ‘party’.
Even though it’s a rarity for me to have serious issues in a relationship,
I’ve never been the type to avoid any situation or someone who wants to work out any discord. My heart is always open. However, I have also learned the dangers of toxicity in people, and how it can gravely affect someone’s health. Only a kind soul gets that rationale.
“Mentally healthy people cannot vilify and throw a caring person away without a second thought. Devaluing and discarding is the virtually exclusive territory of those with Cluster B personality disorders” — Drew Keys.
With age, experience, life struggles, and looking death in the eyes, a person can avoid a situation they know will be detrimental in their life. The influence of the relationship whether that’s with their health, marriage, children, surrendered effort, or dignity.
Facing what I have in the last ten years has done exactly that. How to pick the thorns out of the plant.
Party friends matter when you want someone to attend a fun event with, someone that only smiles when you want to go dancing. I’m a party friend to some. I’ve been thanked for forcing them to enjoy their twenties, repeatedly, while not know anything personal about my character, or the people who made assumptions about me and my marriage, as they asked what I was wearing out that night. No hard feelings, it was simply a plateau we happened to not reach.
When they are missing after the party, playing games with your heart and mind for attention, or you’re told they are crushed because you don’t put forth effort on their personal matters. Then you’ll find the need to clarify.
If you’re given a tragedy from a doctor and you’re too scared to talk about it, let alone tell people about it, and your best friend says that God told her to cut you off for not giving her the scoop. That’s a paraphrase but pretty damn close. Anyway, she’s probably just your party friend.
If your best friend hits on your husband, and buys you the movie The Stepmom while you’re mysteriously ill, she’s probably just your party friend.
If your entire hometown knows you beat cancer, and your best friend writes on a public forum “what victory?”, just to show her spite, she’s your party friend.
If every time you spend moments with a friend alcohol is involved, they’re just your party friend, or an alcoholic.
If your friend says to you “Oh no if you do this favor for me, I guess that means I have to do a favor for you!” She’s your party friend.
It’s okay, those brazen examples made me laugh out loud too. Later.
In all my years the people who used me for a purpose, the friends who had a blast with me, the ones I grew up with in school days, the friends at my side in the hard times, the others who didn’t have to see the end of the relationship to appreciate what they had, or had to mature to learn, including myself, I value every single relationship. A lesson came from each and every one for the betterment of my personal growth.
It doesn’t mean we have to be in each other’s lives to this day, but for me this also entails no animosity.
I’ve witnessed people told they were about to die. Every single one reflected on their past, where they went wrong, what they didn’t have enough of, and what they had too much of. Even though I sometimes grow tired of my daily quest for the level altitude in thyroid and parathyroid replacement, that the cancer won’t redevelop at my trachea, if I have enough of a certain supplement, living with the pressure of not being considered a cancer survivor until five years of tests.
Our past applies to obtaining complete health. Seeing your past for what it was, what you didn’t know then but know now, and where it helped you, will do more good than harm.
Your mental repairs should be just as important as your physical cure.
“Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer”.
~Jean de La Fontaine
“Being bitter will change your eyes, and age you as fast as alcohol and cigarettes.” ~ My mom