“For the most part, hate is fear. We only hate things we’re afraid of. When someone hurts us terribly, we often hate him for it. But we hate him mostly because we’re afraid he’ll hurt us again-either literally or in our minds which replay the scene of hurt again and again. If we had the power to stop him from hurting us ever again-even in our memories- our fear would fade, and our hate would again become just hurt, which can always heal. We do have a way to stop people from hurting us again and again, even in our memories. It is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the blessing we bestow on not just those who have hurt us, but upon ourselves. Forgiveness knocks down the walls around love that hate can build.
Forgiveness doesn’t alter what has happened. The memory remains; the hurt is unchanged. But forgiveness grants us new eyes, through the grace of love, that see the hurt in a different way.
Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. It’s just leaving behind your own hate and rising to the next level of life. It’s not about letting the other guy off the hook- it’s about letting yourself off the hook.
From a medical perspective, hate is a heavy burden, creating chronic overstimulation of the sympathetic nervous system, which contributes strongly to depressed immunity, insomnia, hypertension, muscle pain, colitis, ulcers, heart attack, cancer, stroke, memory loss, migraines and impaired cognitive function. But the worst damage is to peace of mind. It is impossible to hate and be happy at the same time. You don’t even need to tell someone you’ve forgiven him. You can forgive someone who’s dead. The important thing is just to get the hate out of your heart.”
~Dan Baker Ph.D.,
STAY WELL FRIENDS~
This above all, To thine own self be true. ~ William Shakespeare
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